Thursday, January 7, 2010

I Don't!

Recently I've been reading some favorite bloggers musing about getting real (and I was reading these because I was not getting something else done.  Doug graciously calls it "research"). 
Postings like A Common Place Life where Amy describes the trouble with Martha Stewart is that she makes us think others' lives are always beautiful.
Or Life in Yonder when Anne Marie reminds herself to breathe when she sees perfect lives perfectly presented on blogs.
And Jill's le blab discussing how these perfect blogs are like the proverbial "perfect life" Christmas card--but presented every day.

And since I don't want to falsely represent myself as one of those perfect lives, I give you these truths.

When my twin boys were very young and my military spouse traveled, I often got asked, "How do you do it all?"
My answer was, "I don't!"
Sometimes my sweet cherub faced toddlers ate lunches of vienna sausages and crackers in their car seats while driving to Mom's Day Out.
Sometimes they were neglected while I was involved with their older sister.
And sometimes (gasp), they even went to bed without brushing their teeth.
It was a reality.

 (my little cherubs hopefully got their teeth brushed this night)

(Rose "raising" her brothers.  this is how old they were when she first made them lunch--so I could finish Christmas sewing!)

Along this same train of thought (or bounced around in my head and u-turned back to this train), I decided years ago that it was better to have someone come over unannounced for a visit instead of calling ahead.  If I didn't know they were coming,  I didn't feel the pressure of cleaning up for them.  And then they didn't idolize me because of my great housekeeping skills.
Bonus:  I had no pretense to keep up, and therefore didn't have to clean for them in the future.
Second bonus:  in the off chance that they stopped by after I did clean, they would be just as impressed with me as I was with myself.

So come on over.  See my mess:

 and notice the well worn "to do" list looking back at me whilst I type away on the computer and look at dreamy pictures of my cherubs (perfect as they are...), and other such "research."

How do I do it all indeed?

part II soon...


Jill said...

I think it is so easy for us moms to look around and find someone who is doing one part of the whole mothering/wife thing better than we do it, and we become dissatisfied and guilty. But they do ONE part better than we do...not EVERY part. Anyway, I love the picture of your twins looking out the window!! :)

Lorinda said...

I agree about having people stop by. I'd rather see people than not and if i don't have to clean to see them, that's bonus. I also decided years ago that I wouldn't apologize for my mess. It's my mess. They probably don't care and if i don't draw attention to it... okay, they'll still notice but I shouldn't need to excuse myself for the things that I struggle with. Now, i still occasionally explain a mess. I can't stop myself, but i try not to be apologetic.
And sorry I was picking on you about not blogging for a few days. As if I've figured out how to do research AND write a blog on a regular basis. I just love your blog and i really missed it when you were gone.

Lil Kukla said...

Hey chica-the come on over unannounced means that you can come to me too. Afternoons are usually available (Europe has gone for the day!).

And shoot...if I had to wait until my house was perfect to have anyone over, well, I'd still be waiting!